


Mission Impossible

by Kobo



Series: Thanks From Kat [6]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Insert Cassian panicking here, Minor Swearing, Tampons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 08:20:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10272293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kobo/pseuds/Kobo
Summary: Because sending a college boy to the store to buy tampons always has complications.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A lovely anon sent me the prompt "Tampons? You want me to buy tampons?" of which I was more than happy to write, because, well, have you ever requested that a man pick you up tampons from the store? It's hilarious.

_You:_

(2:34 pm)

_Weekly Target run. Want anything?_

_Jyn:_

 (2:35 pm)

_You went to Target… Without me?_

_You:_

(2:35 pm)

_…Oops?_

_Jyn:_

 (2:35 pm)

_You better come home with chocolate to apologize for that, mister._

_You:_

(2:36 pm)

_Kit Kat bars, got it. Anything else._

_Jyn:_

 (2:36 pm)

_I trained you so well <3_

_Um, Ritz crackers and tampons, please._

_You:_

(2:36 pm)

**** **_"Tampons? You want me to buy tampons?"_ **

_Jyn:_

 (2:36 pm)

_You offered?_

_You:_

(2:36 pm)

_Jyn I did not offer to buy you tampons._

_Jyn:_

 (2:37 pm)

_Cassian. I have faith in your ability to pick up a box of compressed cotton and place it on a conveyor belt._

_You:_

(2:37 pm)

_What will the cashier think?!_

_Jyn:_

 (2:37 pm)

_Considering you’re a 22 year old male, probably that they’re not yours._

_Everyone knows men don’t start their periods until at least thirty._

_You:_

(2:38 pm)

_You’re hilarious, Jyn._

_Jyn:_

 (2:38 pm)

_There better be tampons in the bathroom when I get home today._

_You:_

(2:38 pm)

_Yes, ma’am._

Cassian shoved his phone back into his pocket and quickly glanced around, as if the various other people milling around the local Target could see his shopping list. He casually continued as if nothing was wrong – nothing _was_ wrong, he reminded himself; he’s just a random college student on his weekly shopping trip.

Though that doesn’t explain why he pushed the cart past the feminine aisle as least twice.

In his defense, the first time was a total accident. Of all the objects Cassian Andor could walk directly to in Target – like, peanut butter or the Nerf guns, for example – tampons were definitely not one of them.

The second time, though, Cassian clearly noticed the aisle bearing packages labeled “Always” and “Tampax”. He turned to the right and ambled into a selection of calendars and day planners. Because he needed a new calendar for his desk, of course. What ever happened to doing things the old-fashioned way, without phone?

(Cassian had no intention of buying a physical calendar when his phone worked perfectly fine.)

_You can do this,_ he assured himself, bracing his shoulders back and steeling his expression. (He also may have possibly double checked that the main aisle way was clear before dashing madly into the aisle of feminine products. Just possibly.)

Cassian thought he had conquered the hard part by getting into the aisle, but looking at the million – surely that had to be an understatement – different varieties on the shelves, Cassian realized he had been wrong.

_Slim. Super. Active. Leak-free guaranteed._

Cassian needed to consult an expert.

_You:_

(2:52 pm)

_Jyn._

_Jyn, help me._

_What am I doing_

_Jyn:_

 (2:52 pm)

_Literally, Cassian, just hand the box to the cashier. Not that difficult._

_You:_

(2:52 pm)

_No, you don’t understand._

_There’s a whole aisle of these._

_Like, a million options._

_I don’t know what to buy._

_Jyn:_

 (2:53 pm)

_Just grab a 50 pack of the regular ones. That’ll last awhile._

_Should be a green box._

 

Right. Just the regular ones. Green box. He could do that.

A cart wheeled pasted the aisle and Cassian turned on his heel, spinning 180 degrees to examine the whatever was on the other side – _Wait, fuck, no, these are pregnancy tests; that isn’t any better_ – only for the mom, babbling toddler in her basket, walk past without noticing him. Desperate to calm his racing heart, Cassian turned back to pick up the box.

Except he looked at the price tag.

_You:_

(2:56 pm)

_Holy shit these are expensive._

_And you have to buy these every month?_

_Jyn, that sucks._

_Jyn:_

 (2:56 pm)

_Cassian, you just summed up why new wave feminism exists._

_Feel free to sympathize with me whenever I complain about being a woman now._

 

Cassian hurried through the rest of his list – Kit Kats and Ritz crackers, check; Jyn would likely kill him if he came home with _another_ Nerf gun for him and Kay to shoot at each other, so he pointedly ignored that aisle – and came to the checkout counter. He buried Jyn’s green box beneath the crackers and chocolate. To Cassian’s horror, the teenage girl working the counter held up the box of tampons in one hand and the bag of Kit Kats in the other.

“Smart man,” she praised before bagging the scanned items. Cassian gave her half a nod, intently focused on swiping his credit card.

_You:_

(3:04 pm)

_Mission accomplished._

_Jyn:_

 (3:04 pm)

_I’m so proud of you for accomplishing a basic task._

_You:_

(3:04 pm)

_Why do I feel like you’re rolling your eyes?_

_Jyn:_

 (3:05 pm)

_Probably because you know me so well._

_Thank you, my love._

_See you at home._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to each and every one of my 2.5k followers on Tumblr! You all are amazing, and I would love to thank you for with a ficlet, so, please, [send me a prompt!](https://rxbxlcaptain.tumblr.com/post/158234875228/25k-followers)


End file.
